Stole it from `onestar who stole it from someone else...etc.

[my name is]: . . .
[in the morning i was]: Depends on what time you're talking about.
[all i need now is]: An ability to make up my mind.
[love is]: A memory.
[i'm afraid of]: More than my fair share
[i dream about]: I rarely remember them

You:
-- Middle name: *
-- Birth time: I cant recall...they say it was early in the morning
-- Birthplace :
-- Last place travelled: Laois
-- Eye Color: green
-- Nail Color: uh, like whatever color my nails are
-- Height: 166cm
-- Zodiac Sign: Capricorn

Describe:
-- Your heritage:
-- The shoes you wore today: didnt wear shoes yet...it's too early.
-- Your hair: dark brown, layered and shoulder length...
-- Your weakness: cars
-- Your perfect pizza: eugh, I dont like 'em that much...as long as it has loadza cheese...


What is:
-- Your most overused phrase: duh
-- Your thoughts first waking up: Am I still dreaming?
-- Your current worry: Two choices to be made...
-- Your plans tomorrow: clean my room, wash the aquarium, etc
-- Your best physical feature: O.o hmmm.... anything in my room
-- Your bedtime: 11:00 PM

You prefer:
-- sunrise or sunset: Both are beautiful.
-- gore or horror: both
-- eastside or westside: west, but east Cork
-- stripes or polka dots: Stripes
-- Planes or trains: Automobiles.
-- metal or hardcore: metal
-- Pools or hot tubs: Hot Tub.

Do You:
-- Do you think you've been in love: The more I think about it, the more I dont think I've been there.
-- Want to get married: If I find a suitable guy and things work out...but... I'd say its highly unlikely.
-- Type w/ your fingers: I don't even want to know the alternatives to this question...
-- Like to take baths: On the rare occasion.
-- Get motion sickness: Nah.
-- Like talking on the phone: In a way, but at times I am afraid I am saying the wrong thing at the wrong time...
-- Like thunderstorms: Oh, yeah.
-- Play an instrument: nope
-- Workout: Next question, please.
-- Like reading: yes

Favorite:
-- Body part: lol I dont have favorites!
-- Kind of fruit: Cherries
-- Music to fall asleep to: silence or Silent Hill
-- Car: ah... there is a few, Toyota Crown Majesta, Suzuki Cappuccino, 'Vette Camaro.
-- Number: 17
-- Thing to do: sit around and do nothing
-- Horror movie:
-- Color: Black, red.
-- Food: Cookies.

The Future:
-- Age you hope to be married: As I said. this is highly unlikely so.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: No kids, please
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: no wedding... I guess.
-- How do you want to die: Falling off a bridge into a mountain river and...
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: A Person
-- What country would you most like to visit: Japan

Opposite Sex:
-- Best eye color: Color doesn't matter. It's the look in the eyes that counts.
-- Best hair color: Matters not.
-- Best personality trait: Willing to put up with my stupidity.
-- Best height: Doesnt matter...it's impossible to be smaller than me.
-- Best articles of clothing: Hmm...
-- Best first date location: Someplace quiet.
-- Best first kiss location: When the moment is right, you'll know.

Finish:
-- I eat: to feed myself
-- I think: therefore I am.
-- I am: still thinking about it.
-- I adore: simplicity, something I fear I'll never achieve.
-- I suck at: relationships.
-- I am obsessed with: obsessions.
-- I can: do some really stupid things without trying.
-- I can't wait: for some things I know I must wait for.
-- I am annoyed with: myself, on occasion, for lack of patience and inability to deal with frustration.

That's it!

So in chronological order:

1. mood : disappointed
Sometimes people are not the way we think they are. And that's what makes this life interesting, fun, painful and well.
It's good to slapped by reality and see the world the way it is.
Ah, people disappoint me a lot lately.

2. mood : thoughtfull
Got the course that I didnt really want to do, but looks like I can get what I want out of it. So, study is ahead of me.

3. mood : happy
Going driving a lot lately with a friend of mine, he changed his car yet one more time and now instead of Civic and micra he drives Vectra, so I get to drive her. A 2 litre cow is what he calls her and now I know why. Though she's sold as well so now I will drive 1.8 volvo with him. Sounds like another 'boy' racer is in training...and what can you expect...it's in my blood! and my teacher now, is a boy racer... Ah life is good this way. It really is!

4. Still reading 'Chronicles of Amber' and slowly falling in love with the book. Forget falling in love with people, books last longer and they dont lie to you. Either way, as it was said by some famous classic that a good book is as a good friend--same today and forever. Or something along those lines...

That's all I have right now, as usual nothing important and more over nothing smart. Same old me, absorbed with my own problems and decline in rational thinking of the human race. Huh, looks like I have a pessimistic attitude!

Yours truly, as usual,

Well, after all...
Maybe ChemE isnt that bad...
According to MIT, there are so many bio researches going on and you can get into those with ChemE degree...Well...
If I end up designing plants and factories equipment and large scale supply of stuff I will die or something. It will be like spending 18 years studying and ending up doing something that you despise the most.
Anyway.
That's all.


For those that care, my dream is pretty simple and precise-- Tissue Eng.
Whatever happens,
I will get what I want.
I tend to fail majorily in life and personal life stuff, but not academics... I will do what it takes to get what I want. Yep.



All I really want right now is a hug.
But I am alone in the cold office with a tonne of things to do.
And no one cares.
Someday I will get my hug. From someone that cares.

Hope the rest of the students are much happier than I am!

Close Friends

Enough of pessimistic stuff. It gets boring with time and even worse, it makes me realize that it adds nothing to my happiness or life in general.

Here some lines from Catch-22 that make you think, they also relate to all the 'nowadays' events...

'"I really can't believe it," Clevinger exclaimed to Yossarian in a voice rising and falling in protest and wonder. "It's a complete reversion to primitive superstition. They're confusing cause and effect. It makes as much sense as knocking on wood or crossing your fingers. They really believe we wouldn't have to fly that mission tomorrow if someone would only tiptoe up to the map in the middle of night and move the bomb line over Bologna. Can you imagine? You and I must be the only rational ones left."

In the middle of the night Yossarian knocked on wood, crossed his fingers, and tiptoed out of his tent to move the bomb line up over Bologna'

'"The enemy," resorted Yossarian with weighted precision, "is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live." '

"And don't tell me God works in mysterious ways," Yossarian continued, hurtling on over her objection. "There's nothing so mysterious about it. He's not working at all. He's playing. Or else, He's forgotten all about us. That's the kind of God you people talk about - a country bumpkin, a clumsy, bungling, brainless, conceited, uncouth hayseed. Good God, how much reverence can you have for a supreme being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when he robbed old people of their power to control their bowel movements? Why in the world did He ever create pain?"
"Pain?" Lieutenant Schiesskopf's wife pounced upon the word victoriously. "Pain is a useful symptom. Pain is a warning to us about bodily dangers."

"And who created the dangers?" Yossarian demanded, He laughed caustically. "Oh, He was really being charitable to us when He gave us pain! Why couldn't He have used a doorbell instead to notify us, or one of His celestial choirs? Or a system of blue-and-red neon tubes right in the middle of each person's forehead? Any jukebox manufacturer worth his salt could have done that. Why couldn't He?"

"People would certainly look silly walking around with red neon tubes in the middle of their foreheads."

"They certainly look beautiful now writhing in agony or stupified with morphine, don't they? What a colossal, immortal blunderer! When you consider the opportunity and power he had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid ugly little mess He made of it instead, His sheer incompetence is almost staggering. It's obvious. He never met a payroll. Why, no self-respecting businessman would hire a bungler like Him as even a shipping clerk!"
"You'd better not talk that way about Him, honey," she warned him reprovingly in a low and hostile voice. "He might punish you."

"Isn't He punishing me enough?" Yossarian snorted resentfully. "You know, we mustn't let him get away with it. Oh no, we certainly musn't let Him get away scot-free for all the sorrow He's caused us. Someday I'm going to make Him pay. I know when. On the Judgement Day. Yes, that's the day I'll be close enough to reach out and grab that little yokel by His neck and -"

"Stop it! Stop it!"

"What the hell are you getting so upset about?" he asked her bewilderedly in a tone of contrite amusement. "I thought you didn't believe in God."

"I don't," she sobbed, burting violently into tears. "But the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid God you make him out to be."

"There is nothing so absurd about risking your life for your country," [Nately] declared.
"Isn't there?" asked the old man. "What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England. Americans are dying for America. Germans are dying for Germany. Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Sure so many countries can't all be worth dying for."

"Anything worth living for," Nately said, "is worth dying for."

"And anything worth dying for," answered the sacrilegious old man, "is certainly worth living for."

Was there a single true faith, or a life after death? How many angels could dance on the head of a pin, and with what matters did God occupy Himself in all the infinite aeons before the Creation? Why was it necessary to put a protective seal on the on the brow of Cain if there were no other people to protect him from? Did Adam and Eve produce any daughters? "

Maybe I should for once write down something smart that would make me think and want to discuss it. But, once again, I am not capable of that, so I keep on living in my own lil world where all what I do and say makes sense to me and maybe no one else.

Once again, I get proof that (I hope not ALL guys) but guys are like pennies--two faced and worthless.

Sometimes things make me think about human nature and driving force behind all the 'ship' things (relationships, friendships, partnerships...etc) if those are mere instinct based or there is something else, that belongs truly to your soul that makes you want and need to be with someone.

Either way, everything is okay at my end, still thinking about a number of things that I am not ready yet to write out here.
My job mentally kills me lately, so that might explain lack of understanding or irritated mood that I am in at times.

Edit
Omg I have to read these books asap:
R. Zelazny 'The Chronicles of Amber'
J. Heller 'The Closing Time'
J. Heller 'Something Happened' (in the middle of it right now!)
H. Wells 'War of the Worlds'
and to re-read once again J. Heller 'Catch-22'
N. Hornby 'High Fidelity'...
hmmmm Sept. and Oct. nights are sorted now...

My close friends:



Love you all,


lil me.